Go Ahead, Make Me Laugh
Things have been a little serious here on the blog lately, so I think it’s time to lighten things up. How about you tell me some jokes?
And how about a PRIZE for my favorite joke?
Here’s what we’ll do:
You share a good joke (not dirty) in the comments. Everyone will read them and laugh, getting some much-needed humor into our weekend. The deadline for entering jokes is Saturday night at 11:59 pm eastern daylight time. I will choose my favorite joke, announce it on the blog next week, and award the coveted prize.
YES, like all of publishing, this is a completely subjective endeavor! I get to choose my favorite, which will probably be the joke that makes me laugh the most. Clients of Books & Such are welcome to submit jokes but are not eligible to win.
So what’s the coveted prize?
A 30-minute phone call with me, in which I give you feedback on a query, proposal or manuscript (I will review up to 10 pages);
A $25 Amazon gift card.
* * *
To kick things off, I thought I’d share the results of a joke contest we had here on the blog a couple of years ago. At that time I asked:
How many agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?
And here are some of the best answers. Enjoy!
From Nancy Kimball:
None. If the agent is having to change the lightbulbs, I need to be querying someone else.
From Julie Nilson:
The agent doesn’t *change* it. She gently suggests revisions to the light bulb.
From Kathryn Elliott:
Did you fire the interns?
None.The lightbulb got rejected.(At least it didn’t get screwed.)
From Michael Seese:
Only one. The problem is, the publisher asks her to change it again. And again. And again…
From Amanda Jeanette:
But it can take her months with all the different lightbulbs people dump on her desk on a daily basis: the incandescents she likes but lack a crucial component, the fluorescents that are usually good but almost never the right fit, and the black lights she keeps asking people never to send her. Even when her office (and home… and lunch break…) is well lit already, with a perfect fit for every lamp, and she has some reliable manufacturers, they keep on coming and she keeps on digging through them. She’d love an excuse to buy a new lamp, she just needs to love a lightbulb first.
From T.W. Wombat:
None. Changes are an editor’s job.
1 assistant to check if it’s really out.
1 agent to to check again and confirm it’s out and then discuss with an editor that will agree that the said light bulb is out.
Said lightbulb is replaced in approximately 2 years time.
Dear Ms In Darkness,
I am sorry that I have had to reject your request to screw in your lightbulb, and although I do not usually supply feedback, I felt in this case it was merited.
Firstly, you sent the wrong type of lightbulb for the socket–it was clearly stated on the submission instructions that the lightbulb needed was a screw in type, but you sent a bayonet.
Secondly, despite clear instructions that the power must be off for me to be able to screw in the bulb (had I been able to) you had left the power ON.
These problems, combined with a lack of footstool means that I am unable to accede to your request. I am sure there are agent out there who would be willing to do what you wish but I’m afraid that you and I would be a bad fit.
I am unable to return your bulb, as you have not provided a SSAE, and I wish you luck with your electrical problem in the future.
A N Agent
From Madeline Mora-Summonte
It’s impossible to say. The whole industry is moving toward ebulbs now.
From Arthur Smith:
Three. One to research which changing method is trending now, one to prepare a proposal on why the light bulb needs to be changed, and one to tweet about it.
From agent Steve Laube:
Without a platform you can’t reach the lightbulb.
Agent? Who needs an agent? All you need is a little glass and some wires to do it yourself, right? How hard can it be?
Time to enter those jokes in the comments! Have a great weekend.