I love Susan Cain’s book, as others here have mentioned, and yet I’m not offended by the encouragement to get out of my shell. It’s metaphorical, but for some of us it really does apply. When I first arrived at the ACFW conference as a first-timer, I checked in to my hotel room and sat there for over an hour, trying to convince myself to go downstairs and meet someone. (Is my room a metaphorical shell? :))

Overall, this is great advice! I wish I had done a little more of #3, so that I could have planned to join a group sooner. (Thankfully, the folks at ACFW are amazing, and I made several friends with other fellow first-timers. :))

Also an introvert. The shell part didn’t bother me at all. That’s exactly what I strive to do: get out of it.

Just in case another perspective would help here, I didn’t get the feeling that Rachelle was saying that introverts need to be “fixed,” nor do I think that the idea of a “shell” is foreign to many introverts. What’s more, I can guarantee you that Rachelle is aware of Susan Cain’s excellent book — which has helped many of us redefine introversion from an idea of being “shy” to one of energy management: introverts tend to be drained by social contact while extroverts tend to draw energy from the same contact.

I have had the pleasure of being at a conference several days long with Rachelle, as a matter of fact, and I can tell you that she’s smarter than I am about all this. She was up early every day, running in nourishing solitude to get herself ready for the day filled with people and demands, and she continually took better care of her needs than I certainly did. (I’m introverted, too, and consider it a blessing, not a curse.) As we left the conference, Rachelle looked steady, stable, and refreshed … and I looked like a wreck. 🙂

If you will allow me just one observation: Many more people than you might think are fully aware of introversion and its characteristics, not least thanks to Cain’s fine book. Coming in a little less hot in comments than you did might be a good idea until you know a bit more about who you’re addressing.

You’re certainly among friends here at Rachelle’s excellent column.

Cheers,
-p.

On Twitter: @Porter_Anderson

Diana, you clearly had a terrible experience, but it’s not always like that. As a newbie I learned more about the book biz by listening to the seasoned authors during a five-hour drive to a conference than I did at the conference itself; and I made a wonderful friend by sharing a room with a stranger.

Thanks for your thoughts! As you know, introverts all have their own experience of it, and we’re all on a spectrum. I am indeed an “actual” introvert and while I understand you don’t experience yourself as having a “shell,” I do experience it that way. But it was wrong of me to make assumptions about other people’s experience!

While we don’t need to be “fixed,” we surely need to learn skills to live successfully in an extroverted world, as Susan Cain points out in her brilliant book.

Thanks for your perspective!

And don’t be the person who informs the organizers the week before the conference that, having spent the last 15 years on her book, she is now ready to pitch and expects you to have an agent or two (any agent will do) lined up for her at short notice. Yes, people do that.

And have a complete manuscript ready if you’re pitching, for goodness’ sake. I can’t believe the number of attendees I’ve talked to who are planning to pitch a couple of chapters or even an idea.

A conference is s serious investment in your career. Approach it like a professional project!

After my first conference, complete with heart palpitations and a retreat to my room during the closing banquet, I found out that knowing what to expect the next time dispelled half my discomfort.

The above suggestions should take care of most of the rest. Thanks for this post!

Don’t feel like you need to take in every workshop, every talk. Take whatever time you need to decompress and don’t feel guilty about it. take walks outside the conference. Read a good book.

Don’t foget to supply yourself with whatever you need to decompress. I had determined ahead of time to wear whatever felt most comfortable to me and not to stress about it. I had my ipod full of music, walking shoes, and a bottle of wine. And I have learned to always carry pain relievers (Ibuprofen, aspirin, Tylenol) for those stress headaches.