Comments on: One-Sentence Summary Critiques & Tips

By: Garrick Northover

Garrick Northover — Tue, 07 Jul 2015 23:55:00 +0000

Yes Bethany that was a good hint

By: Beth Parker

Beth Parker — Thu, 31 Oct 2013 18:22:00 +0000

Thanks for the examples showing what not to do. Now I'm off to see if I can find the original contest post and hopefully some examples of really good one-sentence story summaries.

By: #TheWritersVoice: Building Your Twitter Pitch #WVTP | peculiar light

#TheWritersVoice: Building Your Twitter Pitch #WVTP | peculiar light — Sat, 12 May 2012 15:24:46 +0000

[…] Rachelle Gardner compiled a list of pitch problems she saw cropping up in a contest of […]

By: Victoria Dixon

Victoria Dixon — Sat, 12 Jun 2010 00:52:31 +0000

>I didn't get a chance to compete, but this did give me cause for concern. I've had a few readers tell me my title, "Mourn Their Courage" was a turn-off. I wonder if it is for agents, too? The story's themes are courage and self-sacrifice, which are sometimes things to be mourned, but are also uplifting. Hmmm. I don't want to change the title for a number of reasons, but it is food for thought….

By: Nikki

Nikki — Fri, 11 Jun 2010 02:59:01 +0000

>Thanks, Rachelle, for taking the time to spell this all out. Your blog is a huge gift to the writing community.
Thanks also for running the contest. I went on an Internet-free (!!) vacation and came back to see my pitch got an honorable mention. It was nice to see I'm on the right track. Just a little more paring down, I think… isn't that the way it always is with writing?

By: Dave Cullen

Dave Cullen — Thu, 10 Jun 2010 19:53:24 +0000

>Great advice, as usual.

Grouping them really helped illustrate the common problems.

It's also interesting to me that people turned in sentences of more than 40 words. To me that's the sign of a larger problem: focusing on the detail (of the rule) and not the bigger picture. If the rule states one sentence, and you string together three in a way that is technically one, you may feel you have succeeded, but you missed the point: an editor wants one mouthful that he/she can wrap her head around quickly. It doesn't matter what the rule says: what does the rule mean?

By: Diane J.

Diane J. — Thu, 10 Jun 2010 18:04:07 +0000

>I'm a bit late commenting on this post. I regret missing the contest...that'll teach me to be more on top of it. :)

I've learned quite a bit about from this post. Hopefully, you'll run another one of these opportunities again.

By: Edwina

Edwina — Wed, 09 Jun 2010 07:20:57 +0000

>Rachelle,

This post was helpful and I appreciate the time you took to not only offer the contest and read all the entries but post these critiques as well. I learned from them and I'm sure others did also.

Blessings,
Edwina Cowgill

By: Harry Markov

Harry Markov — Wed, 09 Jun 2010 05:08:40 +0000

>Ah, the commas. I'm seriously not so cool, when it comes to commas. I am positive that I manage to lose all the appropriate commas and ram them somewhere they do not belong...

*sigh*

But thanks on all these tips. Short, sweet and to the point.

By: K J Pascoe

K J Pascoe — Wed, 09 Jun 2010 04:56:51 +0000

>Thanks so much for this Rachelle, I think I need to make my conflict more specific. I hope you'll give us another chance to post our new and improved pitches 🙂

By: Angie Ledbetter

Angie Ledbetter — Wed, 09 Jun 2010 04:41:06 +0000

>So interesting. Thanks for posting the crits.

By: Steve

Steve — Wed, 09 Jun 2010 03:49:53 +0000

>My WIP is plotted episodically. Instead of one story line it has several, mostly organized sequentially, but in some instances running parallel. To keep the pitch concise, I had no choice but to leave out specifics. Mutiple story lines = multiple sets of specifics.

So I described the over-arcing challenge my protagonist faces, which is substantially identical to the story's theme.

Other than not writing a work that is plotted episodically, is there a way to fix this?

-Steve

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Wed, 09 Jun 2010 01:08:17 +0000

>I'm just wondering… in regards to the pitches that sound "depressing," is this more of a "depends on the agent" thing or would these projects have trouble everywhere?

By: Bethany

Bethany — Tue, 08 Jun 2010 23:32:52 +0000

>Personally, that one about Evernow got me quite interested.