Comments on: Vote for Contest Winner!

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Tue, 28 Oct 2008 06:11:00 +0000

>I’m new to this site. What a treasure I’ve found in all of you, especially you, Rachelle. Thanks for giving to us when your life is crazy busy already! I entered this contest with a euphoric plunge, and lol, wanted to be picked so badly. I learned sooo much from not being picked–Mainly, to truly appreciate the kind of writing it takes to draw in a reader. One day, maybe I’ll actually have enough courage to sign a comment with my name instead of anonymous. Thanks to all of you for your love of writing…your talent is truly helping me.

By: Avily Jerome

Avily Jerome — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 22:27:00 +0000

>I was upset that I could only vote once! I ended up voting for Randy, but it was a toss up for me between his and Kay Day's.

Awesome work, everyone! Showing is something I never get right in my first draft. I always end up rewriting almost everything on my second draft, because all I do is tell.

Great contest, Rachelle!

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 21:19:00 +0000

>Great exercise, thanks. I voted for Vince’s — good writing, showing us an appealing picture without resorting to the use of ever-tempting cliches.

Carol Garvin
http://careann.wordpress.com

By: cosimod

cosimod — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 20:00:00 +0000

>Thanks for the contest!

My vote went to Vince. :)

By: Davey

Davey — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 16:05:00 +0000

>Kim, thanks for your vote! Not being a football fan, you probably can relate to that kind of enormous sacrificial love (-:

By: Randy Mortenson

Randy Mortenson — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 15:18:00 +0000

>"Casually, he opened the CBA Ramblings blog. Two words jumped at him. His own name! Without daring to draw another breath, he skimmed blindly through the rest of the blog's post. He would have to return later to actually read the blog. Outside his window, the sky appeared a brighter shade of blue."

It is hard work. I think it gets easier, but it's never easy. It's always "exercise" strengthening our writing muscles.

Thanks, Rachelle! As I tried to show above, your blog made my day. :-)

By: JC Lamont

JC Lamont — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 14:59:00 +0000

>I forgot to vote -- I'm for Kay Day.

Her passage draws out the suspsence. 75 words later and the reader still doesn't know what the characters are staring at. Very well done.

By: JC Lamont

JC Lamont — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 14:55:00 +0000

>I'm with you, Timothy!

When one is trying to cut massive amounts of words, changing a pretty passage describing the devastaion of the MC to:

Devastated, the MC drew his sword. "To the death, you dastardly villian!"

definately seems to be the way to go.

(PS - have no fear, my dialogue is NOT that corny! It was merely an example.)

By: Camille Cannon (Eide)

Camille Cannon (Eide) — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 14:55:00 +0000

>Yes, it was a bit difficult. I thought I’d save on brain power and just pull something from my current novel. Guess what I discovered? Skimming through my story, I had a hard time finding the kind of examples I would want to post here. That was an eye opener.

By: Cheryl Barker

Cheryl Barker — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 14:37:00 +0000

>I voted on the sidebar but just wanted to compliment Vince on his poetic style and great rhythm. Beautifully written, Vince.

By: Kim Kasch

Kim Kasch — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 14:09:00 +0000

>I had to vote for Davey. I mean football is sooo not my thing, I just thought it was cute.

By: Robbie Iobst

Robbie Iobst — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 13:18:00 +0000

>Rachelle,

Thank you for this contest. It was fun and it made me think very specifically about word choice. Something I should do more often.
:0) I voted on the sidebar, but I just want to say I think Kay Day's is the best. She not only showed exactly what was happening, but she did it in a clever, interesting way.

By: Kay Day

Kay Day — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 13:18:00 +0000

>I was so surprised to be one of the chosen! I am so new at writing that every little boost feels like a big one. Maybe I CAN do this! It makes my little heart happy.
So thank you for the opportunity to "show" my stuff. LOL

I actually found the exercise easier than I expected. My rough draft is pretty much all "telling" and I plan to go back and "show" it all in the rewrite. "Telling" comes so easily and I have developed a bit of apprehension and even rebellion toward "showing". So this exercise was good because it let me see that it isn't the big scary difficult thing that I had made it out to be. It just takes a little more thinking *gasp*.

By: Yvonne

Yvonne — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 12:32:00 +0000

>This is a good exercise! I find it interesting that sometimes a writer will be attempting one emotion with actions, but you can also see other things in there. It also shows the character's personality or the setting or even a little of the plot.

My vote is Randy also. I think he captured a feeling we all have had sometime in our life.