Early Morning Dilemma
For years I’ve been in the habit of getting up early before my family wakes so I can have some focused time alone in the peace and quiet of the breaking dawn. I’m definitely a morning person and this is my favorite part of the day, time for prayer and reading and journaling. Time for listening to God.
But sometimes I notice that I’m more excited to hear from my blogging friends than I am to hear from God! And often the demands of my work seem more pressing and I’m tempted to go straight to the computer and begin answering emails, instead of to my cozy spot on the couch with my Bible and my buddy Reagan.
I’m sensing a problem here.
I do my best to resist the computer urge and make myself sit down with my Bible (and my coffee) as planned. Today, for awhile I just sat there, trying to talk with the Lord about this conflict. Every few seconds my mind would wander completely away from Him as I thought about a blog post, or an email that I needed to compose, or the stacks and stacks of work waiting to be done. I pondered what was so compelling about working as opposed to reading God’s word or talking to him. I realized I was allowing myself to be overwhelmed by the demands of my schedule, not trusting that God would provide the way for me to accomplish HIS purposes… if I would trust him with my time and my heart.
And aren’t there numerous times in life when we’re tempted to opt for what the “world” has to offer rather than what God wants to give us?
This has been a good reminder for me – it’s not just about working and blogging, it’s about life. It’s about the daily asking and answering of the question, “Am I going to seek first His kingdom, or not?” It’s not always our first choice – but will we do it anyway?
I wish I could end this post with some sort of uplifting denouement… “So I sat down and read my Bible and God spoke to me in amazing and powerful ways!”
I did spend some time in prayer and in the Word this morning. and I even enjoyed my reading. But I was distracted. I kept wanting to go to the computer. I felt guilty about my wandering mind.
And so I got up from the couch and started the day, vowing to pray without ceasing as I went through my tasks for the morning. And in the before-school madness of making breakfast, packing lunches, brushing hair and driving the carpool, my mind was cluttered and my thoughts drifted away from Him once again.
Rachelle Gardner is a Christian literary agent affiliated with WordServe Literary Group in Colorado.