Directions: Use like regular soap.
(And that would be how?)
On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it’s just a suggestion.)
On Tesco’s Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of the box):
Do not turn upside down.
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let’s experiment.)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn’t that save more time?)
On Boot’s Children’s cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5-year-olds with colds off those fork lifts.)
On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope.)
On artificial bacon:
Real artificial bacon bits.
(So we don’t get fake fake bacon. Oh no, we get real fake bacon.)
On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: Keep out of children.
(Think something got lost in the translation?)
On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to….)
On Sainsbury’s peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(But no peas?)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(Somebody got paid big bucks to write this one..)
On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you’ve tried this.)
On a child’s Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(That’s right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)
Got anything funny to leave in the comments today? Go for it – I could use some laughs.
Have a good weekend!
P.S. This was an email-forward that my 13-year-old sent me, so I have no idea of the source or whether these are true. And the parenthetical comments came with the email.