You Might Be an Agent If…

You know Jeff Foxworthy, right?

You might be a redneck if…

You think “loading the dishwasher” means getting your wife drunk.

You ever cut your grass and found a car.

You own a home that is mobile and 5 cars that aren’t.

You think the stock market has a fence around it.

Your stereo speakers used to belong to the Drive-in Theater.

I was thinking it would be fun for us to do our own twist on this. In the comments, complete one of the following sentences:

You might be a literary agent if…

You might be a publisher if…

You might be a writer if…

Have fun and have a great weekend!

(c) 2010 Rachelle Gardner, Literary Agent

Rachelle Gardner

Literary agent at Gardner Literary. Coffee & wine enthusiast (not at the same time) and dark chocolate connoisseur. I've worked in publishing since 1995 and I love talking about books!

96 Comments

  1. Hipolito M. Wiseman on March 25, 2012 at 5:53 PM

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  2. Wendy Saxton on July 21, 2010 at 7:55 PM

    >You might be a writer if you can maintain eye contact while conversing with a family member as you type. My eleven-year-old marvels at this.



  3. Brad on July 21, 2010 at 11:06 AM

    >You might be a writer if you say to your son, "Didn't you already do that? No, wait, that was someone I made up."



  4. Michael Tate on July 19, 2010 at 4:40 PM

    >you might be a writer if…

    Words you use around your non-writer friends confuse them all the time.

    You find yourself editing out adverbs from your speech with co-workers around the water cooler.

    You know the exact yield of your ink cartridges/toner.



  5. Tom M Franklin on July 19, 2010 at 4:31 PM

    >you might be a writer if…

    you can't read a book without editing passages as you read

    you can't read a book without saying, "This could have been really good if they'd just given it one more edit."

    you can sense the rejection letter in the envelope without even opening it

    you have no idea who those people are on the cover of the tabloids because you've stopped watching TV to spend all your spare time writing



  6. Gina on July 18, 2010 at 10:18 PM

    >You might be a writer if you procrastinate!



  7. Julie M. on July 18, 2010 at 7:49 PM

    >You might be an agent if you tell people at parties that you're a gastroenterologist because you'd rather hear about their bowel trouble than have them pitch you a novel.



  8. Allie Sanders on July 18, 2010 at 6:42 PM

    >You might be a writer if…

    When someone says something you think is amusing you jump up and run for paper and pen.

    No one questions you pacing up and down the street at two am becuase your desk just isn't working and your character decided that she wanted to kill the lead hunk rather than kiss him.

    Your friends no longer question you talking about imaginary people and in fact join the conversation.

    Your husband no longer tries to talk to you when the computer is on.

    You ask locals in different towns about wierd local traditions and hang-outs.

    You feel more at home with your computer and notebook than you do anywhere else.

    You laugh when someone asks if you have a pen.

    You are horrified when someone says they don't read books.

    You might be an agent if…
    Someone says they have a query (the pompus way of saying question) and you duck and hide until they go away.



  9. alisha on July 18, 2010 at 1:23 AM

    >You might be a writer if you start identifying a story arc in everyday events.

    One of my good writer friends is always looking for the story arc and it makes me happy.



  10. Robin Connelly on July 17, 2010 at 10:52 PM

    >if anti-deforestation activists picket in front of your house because of all the paper you go through

    If after you've packed the essentials in your car for a cross-country move, your mother looks at what you're leaving behind and says she now has enough notebooks to last her for the next decade. And you're pretty sure she's not exaggerating.

    If it feels like you've become estranged from a relative when your characters won't talk to you



  11. Nichole Giles on July 17, 2010 at 9:29 PM

    >You might be a writer if…

    1. Your diagnosed with a fatal disease and your first thought is how you could use this experience in a novel.

    2. Your Internet history includes: how to build a bomb, hide a body, poison a person, and rob a bank without getting caught, and you aren't worried about being watched by homeland security.

    3. Your heart palpitates when you walk into a grocery store and realize notebooks are on sale 10 for $1.

    4. You can live without hot water, your car, your cell phone, and your family, but please, please, please don't touch the computer!



  12. Anonymous on July 17, 2010 at 2:06 PM

    >You might be an agent if you have a slithery assistant.



  13. Anonymous on July 17, 2010 at 2:04 PM

    >You might be a writer if you write the Next Great American Novel on straw wrappers because the restaurant doesn't believe in serving you in less than an hour and a half.



  14. Robin Connelly on July 17, 2010 at 12:22 PM

    >When you rewrite the same thing over and over again in different ways because a six year old asked you "What does that mean?"



  15. Robin Connelly on July 17, 2010 at 12:21 PM

    >You may be a writer if…..

    You get into a physical confrontation with yourself in public, during psychological disorder awareness week.

    You spend your last $30 on books, instead of food.

    The librarians not only know your name but can recommend a book to you that may help you with your research on a culture that no longer exists in a country that is now inhabitable, without you asking for a recommendation.

    When the librarians immediately start filling the printers with paper when they see you heading towards the computer.

    When you can navigate the library better than the librarians.

    The best Christmas present you receive each year are bookstore gift cards.

    If your house has so many bookcases in it that you barely have room to move, but you still need another bookcase for the 40 new books you bought.

    When the idea of working at Office Depot and Barnes and Noble at the same time appeals to you, and you know that most of your paycheck will never get home.



  16. Gigi Murfitt on July 17, 2010 at 12:05 PM

    >You might be a writer if you can't wait to get home from work so you can write.

    You might be a writer if when someone tells you a story you think "Could I write an article about that?"

    You might be a writer if you have to go to physical therapy because your neck is tight after writing a difficult scene.

    You might be a writer if you have a heart to change lives and share stories as a way to lead people to Christ.

    You might be an agent if you find a trail of hungry writer's standing behind you in the buffet line at a writer's conference only to find they are not hungry for food but rather waiting to find what table you choose so they can sit next to you.



  17. Kansas Bard on July 17, 2010 at 9:53 AM

    >You might be a writer if:

    …you rework an NPR news story into a poem on the drive home.

    …you clean the house before vacation so you can spend time writing.

    …you schedule time to get out of the house and write at a coffee shop once a week.

    …you spend your lunch hour reading and critiquing for your online writers workshop.

    …you look forward to weekends so you can write.



  18. Ane Mulligan on July 17, 2010 at 8:52 AM

    >You might be a writer if … … in a house fire, you'd save your computer, your copy of the Writer's Market Guide, then your grandmother's jewelry.



  19. reberto.alberto on July 17, 2010 at 4:07 AM

    >Hi there!

    Shortstorybook.net is organizing a short story writing contest.

    We do think that you too might have a marvelous story to tell, one that is your own! So if you can compose it in not more than few words, we would want to hear from you. Also, you stand a chance to get your story published on our site and win cash prize of USD 100.

    “Then what are you waiting for? …put on your thinking cap and get writing. For registration and other information check – http://bit.ly/short-story-contest-2010

    Happy writing!



  20. Jil on July 16, 2010 at 11:03 PM

    >You might be an agent if you're a glutton for work,have the guts to begin and a husband willing to bring home the bacon until you get going.

    You might be a publisher if your father dies and leaves you his successful business.

    You might be a writer, writing your heart out, but you won't be an author until one of the other two takes you and your work into their world.



  21. Jil on July 16, 2010 at 11:03 PM

    >You might be an agent if you're a glutton for work,have the guts to begin and a husband willing to bring home the bacon until you get going.

    You might be a publisher if your father dies and leaves you his successful business.

    You might be a writer, writing your heart out, but you won't be an author until one of the other two takes you and your work into their world.



  22. mulligangirl on July 16, 2010 at 9:46 PM

    >You might be a writer if..

    You think purple prose would be more aptly described as shimmering lavender prose with shades of deep plum.

    You find grammar books entertaining — and not just the one written by Lynne Truss.

    You think ‘cutting extraneous dialogue’ is to have your characters insult each other a whole lot more.



  23. Anne Lang Bundy on July 16, 2010 at 9:39 PM

    >You might be a historical fiction writer if you worry about what your characters will say about the way you portrayed them when you someday meet them in Heaven.

    These are GREAT!



  24. Yvette on July 16, 2010 at 9:13 PM

    >You might be a writer if…you study people on the bus/sidewalk/grocery store/kid's school playground, make up life stories for them, then wonder how you can incorporate that into your ms. 😛

    You might be a writer if….you're working, your kid interrupts with something that can wait, and you reply, "Not right now, honey – Mama's in Russia right now."



  25. Johnnie on July 16, 2010 at 8:10 PM

    >You might be a writer if you pray for your characters, then remember they don't really exist.

    (Yes, I once prayed that my protagonist would make the right decision in a dilemma she was facing.)



  26. Vicki on July 16, 2010 at 7:41 PM

    >You might be a writer if…

    …you curse out loud when you find a name you like in someone else's book.

    …you ceremoniously plot ways to seriously harm or kill people but do not own a weapon.

    …you make regular trips to the bookstore and cheer when you can't find a book you had in mind.

    …you grit your teeth when people drop the 'ly' from adverbs.



  27. Lauren on July 16, 2010 at 7:10 PM

    >You might be a writer if….

    You were nodding your head throughout reading this list.

    You actually made it to the end of this list.

    You thought of two items to contribute to this list, but didn't post them, fearing rejection.

    You procrastinated your writing by trying to think of items to add to this list.

    You might be an agent if:

    Your idea of progress on a book is spending an entire day with a manuscript deleting words.



  28. Courtney on July 16, 2010 at 6:03 PM

    >You might be a writer if you constantly talk to "yourself" and feel no shame.

    You might be a writer if your inner narrator is constantly at work.



  29. Beth Sorensen on July 16, 2010 at 5:56 PM

    >You might be a writer if …

    You try to figure out how to write off chocolate as a business expense.



  30. Kimberley Troutte on July 16, 2010 at 5:07 PM

    >You might be a writer if you check your inbox for the agent's response three seconds after you sent in a submittal.



  31. Horserider on July 16, 2010 at 4:54 PM

    >I love these! So glad I'm not alone. 😀

    You might be a writer if…

    …the most important part of your phone is the fact that you can take notes on it in case you get an idea while away from a notebook/laptop.

    …you’re never away from a notebook/laptop.

    …someone asks for a pencil and you pull six out of your pocket.

    …you evaluate dreams in terms of whether or not they’ll make a great novel.

    …you plan vacations around visiting places in published novels/novels you want to write.

    …you plan vacations around writers’ conferences.

    …you threaten to write people who annoy you into novels and kill them.

    …you really do write people who annoy you into novels.

    …finding a super cool pen or your favorite pen that you thought you lost while cleaning makes your entire day. (Both happened to me this week.)

    …most of your friends are also writers.

    …you swear at your characters when they don’t listen to you, but go along with them anyway.



  32. Gwen Stewart on July 16, 2010 at 4:46 PM

    >You might be a writer if you're too distracted to shop after reading the sign: "Shoe's for sale".

    You might be a writer if your daughter draws elaborate clothing for your characters, shows them to extended family, and chirps, "Oh, you don't know her. She's Mommy's character."



  33. John Smith on July 16, 2010 at 4:40 PM

    >You might be a writer if… you read this blog.

    *I'm a writer 🙂



  34. Heather on July 16, 2010 at 4:34 PM

    >You might be a writer if you act out random things in public so that you can figure out how best to put them into words.

    You might be a writer if your Google search could put you on an FBI watch list, but your intentions are 99% innocent.



  35. MJR on July 16, 2010 at 4:27 PM

    >you might be a writer if…

    you have a bizarre list of bookmarked sites (mine include Neanderthals, FBI procedures, South Carolina real estate, learning Hebrew, and a bunch of other unrelated topics)

    you loved the book Harriet the Spy as a kid (and still feel like her)

    ditto (2 times) all those blank journals you receive from well-meaning friends!

    you write stories as you're sleeping and tell yourself (still dreaming) how brilliant they are (but forget them when you wake up)



  36. Anonymous on July 16, 2010 at 4:15 PM

    >You might be a writer if instead of laughing when your friends say something funny, you grab the nearest piece of paper and write it down.



  37. Timothy Fish on July 16, 2010 at 2:37 PM

    >You might be a writer if…
    …you’ve planned a murder over coffee.
    …you’ve used the term MacGuffin in conversation.
    …you can locate the inciting incident in a book you’ve never read.
    …the 16th Edition of The Chicago Manual of Style is on your Christmas wish list.
    …you’ve ever sold a book during the invitation.
    …you’ve turned a man into a woman and back again.



  38. shellie on July 16, 2010 at 2:11 PM

    >You might be a writer if. . . you make your family members comment on your blog, so you can watch those comment and site visit numbers go up and up and up.



  39. Katherine Hyde on July 16, 2010 at 2:10 PM

    >You might be a writer if you rewrite conversations with your friends to punch up their dialogue–and give the perfect witty comeback yourself.

    You might be an editor/agent if your kid gives you a Mother's Day card and you say, "I'm sorry, your submission does not meet our needs at this time."



  40. Patti on July 16, 2010 at 1:51 PM

    >you might be a writer if…you get sweaty when people ask you, "So, what do you do for a living?"



  41. Katy Kauffman on July 16, 2010 at 1:43 PM

    >You might be a writer if…

    You do crazy things you wouldn't normally do, just to get the adrenaline rush. (and you tell yourself it's for research.)

    You watch every movie from every perspective…writer, producer, heroine, villain, sidekick, musician, graphics designer. And at the end of the movie, fall asleep from exhaustion.

    You enjoy the kids' section at the library. Easier prose to read for research, bigger print.

    You feel God's pleasure when you write.

    Take care, writers! Have a good weekend. P.S. all agents and publishers, too…



  42. mary bailey on July 16, 2010 at 1:33 PM

    >You might be a writer if…the more people you meet the more you love your fictional characters.



  43. Jolene on July 16, 2010 at 1:09 PM

    >You might be a writer if you'd rather stare at a computer screen than sleep. Night after night after night…



  44. Kimberley Troutte on July 16, 2010 at 1:01 PM

    >You might be a writer if…you hear voices in your head all the time.

    Either that or I'm in serious trouble.



  45. Raquel Byrnes on July 16, 2010 at 12:52 PM

    >You might be a writer if you sit in the car taking notes about the people across the parking lot…and you're not a detective.



  46. Reesha on July 16, 2010 at 12:51 PM

    >:D hahahaha. Soooo good to know other people do these things too.

    You might be a writer if…

    Everyone at work thinks your busy working while you're really just typing your novel.

    You browse the children's book section at every Library and Bookstore within ten miles…and you don't have kids.

    You encourage your husband to play World of Warcraft just so he'll leave you alone to get some writing done.

    You have dreams of building a bookcase that's actually a hidden door to your secret writing lair in your house…and you live in an apartment.

    You secretly hope everyone will think of you as a modern day Anne of Green Gables.

    You can talk about your book for ten minutes with a fellow housewife before they realize you're not talking about your scrap book.

    Your children don't have scrap books meticulously made about them and their every stage of life, but they are expertly mapped out on character charts, and in your novel.

    You justify buying an iPhone as part of your 'job', then play games on it for four hours straight, hoping it will make you more productive.

    You buy an eReader, but still spend just as much money on real books as you did before.

    The movie Inkheart made you cry.

    I am guilty of all of these. *hugs fellow writers* Thanks for making me feel normal today.



  47. Julie Rowe on July 16, 2010 at 12:39 PM

    >You might be a writer if…

    …You have at least six pens in your purse at any one time.

    …You have at least three "emergency" chocolate bars stashed in your desk.

    …you avoid certain relatives at reunions because they're convinced you're going to write their memoir for them.

    …your hubby comes home from work, asks how your day was and you excitedly tell him about the two people you murdered today in your book, and his answer is, "That's nice, dear."

    You know you're a romance writer when…

    …complete strangers ask you if you practice all your love scenes before you write them.

    …Your hubby tells complete strangers that he helps you practice all your loves scenes before you write them.



  48. Sue Harrison on July 16, 2010 at 12:29 PM

    >Eliza T., Those are hilarious!

    Rachelle, thank you for much needed laughter on a hot and muggy Friday afternoon!



  49. Eliza T on July 16, 2010 at 12:19 PM

    >You might be a literary agent if …

    … you can say 'No' in 25 words or more without actually using the word.

    You might be a writer if …

    … you can cackle hysterically about 'killing off Granny' and no one gets alarmed.

    You might be a writer if …

    … you are genuinely surprised by the end of a book–and you wrote it

    You might be a publisher if …

    … you don't see anything weird about looking for material that is simultaneously "original" and "the same"



  50. T. Anne on July 16, 2010 at 12:13 PM

    >You might be a writer if… you love words and yet hate word counts.

    You might be a writer if… you clutch a notepad and pen in the middle of a dark movie theatre just in case inspiration strikes.

    You might be a writer if… you daydream about the gifts you will one day send your future agent.

    You might be a writer if… you want the whole world to read your future novel and yet you cringe at the thought of anyone reading your manuscript.

    (Sorry about the double post!)

    July 16, 2010 10:46 AM



  51. Teenage Bride on July 16, 2010 at 11:59 AM

    >Oh what fun

    You might be a writer if… you rethink every sentence from five different angles.



  52. Beth on July 16, 2010 at 11:45 AM

    >You might be an agent if you have a phobia of bathrooms, elevators, or other enclosed public spaces that might contain enthusiastic authors with 100,000 word manuscripts.

    You might be an agent if everyone is certain you want to represent his manuscript—if you'd just take a look at it.



  53. ADSimons on July 16, 2010 at 11:36 AM

    >You might be a writer if….

    you tell co-workers at your day job, how you killed someone the night before and they do not feel compelled to call the cops.

    you walk up to random people in the mall and ask off the wall questions, just to get their reaction so you can use said reactions in your WIP

    you can go days without real food or sleep while in the 'zone'

    you've asked to be arrested for research prepossess.

    you spend at least an hour reading and commenting on agent blogs in the hopes they will remember you when you query

    your idle vacation is Thrillfest



  54. Joel Q on July 16, 2010 at 11:21 AM

    >You might be an agent if…

    You send form rejection letters to wedding and birthday party invitations…

    Sorry, couldn't resist. 🙂



  55. Teri Dawn Smith on July 16, 2010 at 11:18 AM

    >You might be a writer if…someone in the grocery check-out line says something snarky to you and you smile and thank her for a good piece of dialogue.

    You might be a writer if…after you analyze the 2 journeys of Shrek, you son shakes his head and says "way too much thinking".



  56. iheartya on July 16, 2010 at 11:12 AM

    >You might be a short story writer if your ideal word count is 6-12,000.



  57. Reena Jacobs on July 16, 2010 at 10:36 AM

    >You might be a writer if you sit down at the dinner table with your family and start talking about your character as if he's a friend of the family you might go visit next week.



  58. A.C. Townsend on July 16, 2010 at 9:52 AM

    >If you never leave home without a small notebook and pen in your purse or on your person … you might be a writer.

    If you carry a Nikon CoolPix camera in your purse or on your person so that you can photograph corners, crevices, buildings, streets, etc. that either trigger a new story or that can be used to place characters in a WIP … you might be a writer.

    If you know what WIP stands for … you might be a writer.

    If you’ve ever called chambers of commerce, tourism & information bureaus, news agencies, police departments, or other agencies in places you’ve never been in order to secure accurate information … you might be a writer.

    If you read chapters aloud to your cats and ask them what they think … you might be a writer.

    If your fictional characters live 24/7 in that “apartment building in your mind” and are constantly with you for the duration of novel … until the novel is finished, and those characters move out, and their voices fall silent … if after they’re gone you feel lonely and empty and lost until you meet new characters and begin another novel … you’re a writer.

    Thanks, Rachelle. Have a nice weekend!

    ~ Angela



  59. Mary P on July 16, 2010 at 9:45 AM

    >You might be a writer if:
    …your brother walks into the living room to find you holding onto the top of a door facing with one hand (for lack of a shackle to chain yourself to the ceiling with) and waving a sword around with the other. (In defense of my own sanity, it was a very complicated fight scene.)
    …at any given moment, your writer friends are threatening to come after you in the night if you don't hurry up and let them read the next chapter.
    …you can look at the numbers and statistics – and still be sure you'll get rich and famous.



  60. Anonymous on July 16, 2010 at 9:41 AM

    >A writer if…

    You can't really concentrate on movies or TV shows cauze you're too busy analyzing characters' mannerisms and clothes. Then you have to dissect and critique the plot bit by bit until your husband gets annoyed.

    You can't truly enjoy an evening out cuz you spend all your time watching people and eavesdropping on conversations. i.e. working.

    You follow people around like a bad spy if they're having a really juicy conversation–and get weird looks.



  61. Author Sandra D. Bricker on July 16, 2010 at 9:30 AM

    >In February, I actually wrote a blog on the topic of "you might be a writer if…"
    http://sandradbricker.blogspot.com/2010/02/youre-probably-writer-if.html
    But my favorite of all of them was: You might be a writer if you welcome criticism before you do something, but reject it afterward.



  62. Designs by JoLea on July 16, 2010 at 9:28 AM

    >If your favorite work clothes are sweat pants and fuzzy slippers… you might be a writer.

    If you act out fight scenes with your children, pausing to type furiously… you might be a writer.

    Thanks Rachel – I don't feel like an alien after reading some of these.



  63. Darby on July 16, 2010 at 9:12 AM

    >You might be a writer if…

    You get sidetracked in the Men's Department spotting a shirt that would look very smart on your 16 year old protagonist.

    Then buy it.

    And you don't have sons.



  64. Rachel Pudelek on July 16, 2010 at 9:02 AM

    >You might be a writer if whenever you enter a home more than 50 years old, you want a tour of the house and become a zombie to the homeowner as you walk from room to room building a story about the house in your mind.

    You might be a writer if you lay awake at night wondering how your character would react in different situations. And then play each situation out like a movie in your head.

    You might be a writer if one of your favorite things to do in an airport is not actually boarding a plane, but watching other people board planes and assume who they are, where they're going, and why.



  65. Rosslyn Elliott on July 16, 2010 at 9:00 AM

    >@JessicaNelson Ha ha! Perfect.

    I'm going to have to take a picture of my daughter doing her impression of "what Mom looks like when she's thinking about her book."



  66. Kathleen MacIver on July 16, 2010 at 8:58 AM

    >Another:

    You might be a writer if…

    …you celebrate back-to-school season because blank notebooks sell for bargain prices.

    …you scan movie credits saying, "That's a cool name!"



  67. Jessie Andersen on July 16, 2010 at 8:54 AM

    >You might be a writer if…
    Unless you've drank one cup of your favorite coffee out of your favorite green flowered mug, sat in your special "Writing spot", jotted notes on your character and reread the previous chapter you've been working on, unless you've spun around three times saying, "I know I'll be published, I know I'll be published.", you just can't actually get any writing done.



  68. Michelle Kollar on July 16, 2010 at 8:51 AM

    >You might be a writer if walking into Office Max makes you giddy. All those different colored pens: weeeeeeeeee.

    You might be an agent if your mail box is 500 plus and you emptied it two weeks ago.

    You might be an publisher if everyone you talk to (outside the office) has a GREAT IDEA for a novel/memoir they'd like to run by you.



  69. Anonymous on July 16, 2010 at 8:48 AM

    >You might be a writer if your husband and adult children are secretly contemplating whether to put you away now or hang onto you in case your manuscript is bought as you describe and later turned into a blockbuster movie series.



  70. Richard Albert on July 16, 2010 at 8:48 AM

    >You might be a writer if …

    … your dog knows more about query letters than your spouse.

    … your wife catches you “sword fighting” with your fingers and staring at the ceiling during dinner.

    … you buy blank notebooks by the case.

    … you look forward to rejection.

    … you jot down eavesdropped conversations then try to give them a hook.



  71. Fawn Neun on July 16, 2010 at 8:42 AM

    >You Might Be A Writer If: You find yourself spending 7 hours on Google Earth trying to find a good place to dump a body into the Thames – and you live in California.

    You Might Be An Editor If: You find yourself ranting about the way people confuse colons and semi-colons every time you have more than one drink.

    You Might Be A Publisher If: You dissolve in tears everytime you see yet another unread email with "Another Revision" in the subject line from an author you accepted two weeks ago on the first submission.



  72. Kathleen MacIver on July 16, 2010 at 8:39 AM

    >These are hysterical! I especially love those about the blank notebooks (even though you're attached to a laptop) and the baby name ones.

    Here's mine:

    You might be a writer if…

    …you keep lists of people and place names, categorized by "Good guys, bad guys, and sidekicks."

    …there are towns, cities, and mountains on the other side of the world where you know no one and have never been to, yet you know them intimately via Google Earth.

    …you wish there were place name books on the shelf beside the baby name books.

    …your husband rolls his eyes after a movie 'cause you can't help commenting on the characterization or plot.

    …half of the books you read can't be found on any bookshelf in the world (yet), because your crit partners are still polishing them.

    …your other friends tell you, "That book sounds neat! Where can I get it?" And you have to say, "Uh…it just got bought. It won't be out for another year."

    …half of your friends and family don't even KNOW about this thing you love to do, because it's just easier to not talk about it than it is to answer questions. Besides, those who DO know just wind up with their eyes glazing over if/when you try to talk about it longer than 20 seconds.



  73. Susan Bourgeois on July 16, 2010 at 8:29 AM

    >You might be a writer if you wake up in the middle of the night with a crystal clear vision and lie there contemplating whether to hop out of bed to write it down immediately or go back to bed and risk losing it in the morning.

    This is a great idea Rachelle. I can relate to almost all of the examples given. It makes me feel perfectly normal and I know I am not!



  74. Mac on July 16, 2010 at 8:00 AM

    >http://rmacwheeler.blogspot.com/2010/06/you-may-be-writer-if.html



  75. Wendy Paine Miller on July 16, 2010 at 7:58 AM

    >You might be a writer if you almost severely injure yourself busting out of the shower while racing for the computer trying to get your thoughts down before you lose them.

    These are awesome.
    ~ Wendy



  76. Jessica Nelson on July 16, 2010 at 7:26 AM

    >You might be a writer if people think you have absence seizures when you don't.



  77. Candyland on July 16, 2010 at 7:20 AM

    >You might be a writer if your hair is falling out.



  78. scarlettprose on July 16, 2010 at 7:10 AM

    >You might be a writer if…you arrive at a destination and not remember how exactly you got there or why, but suspect you might have driven because you're the one behind the wheel.

    You might be a writer if…"just another ten minutes" is actually 2 hours, but still feels like ten minutes.



  79. A misinterpreted wave on July 16, 2010 at 7:05 AM

    >You might be a writer if you spend a whole lot of your time blogging instead of re-drafting.

    Just thought I'd put that one out there – guilty as charged!



  80. Katy McKenna on July 16, 2010 at 6:58 AM

    >If you went to public school but you can figure 15% of any random number in a split second, you might be an agent.

    If you figured out that leftover bits of mac-and-cheese on your kids' dinner plates isn't the only definition of "remainders," you might be an author.

    If when you refer to looking for "The next Left Behind" you aren't talking about a weightloss book, you might be a publisher.



  81. Beth Overmyer on July 16, 2010 at 6:56 AM

    >You might be a writer if…

    Your friends have favorite baby names. You have favorite character names.

    You have more characters than friends.

    You've written on napkins.

    You've written on yourself.

    You don't know what DNA stands for, but you do know what a MMC, a FMC, and a WIP are.

    You've fiercely debated over Oxford commas.



  82. Erinn on July 16, 2010 at 6:55 AM

    >You might be a writer if after a long writing session you look at your own family and think, "who are these people?"



  83. Lisa Jordan on July 16, 2010 at 6:49 AM

    >You might be a literary agent if you discuss royalties without referring to foreign monarchies.

    You might be a publisher if you talk about hooks but aren't planning to do any fishing.

    You might be a writer if you're considering wondering "how can I use this event in my novel."



  84. Jess of All Trades on July 16, 2010 at 6:43 AM

    >You might be a literary agent…if you now flee in unmitigated terror from every form of Slush – even if someone was only offering you a delicious, cherry-flavored frozen beverage.



  85. Katy McKenna on July 16, 2010 at 6:15 AM

    >If a 15% Kohl's coupon makes you think of your Number One Client, you might be an agent.

    If "stacking deals" at Kohl's (Clearance rack, plus 30% off coupon, plus $10 Kohl's Cash for Every $50 You Spend–"It's Like Getting Paid to Shop!") makes you think of tricky clauses in your Number One Clients latest contract, you might be an agent.



  86. Buffy Andrews on July 16, 2010 at 5:50 AM

    >You might be a writer if rejections are like junk mail — neverending.

    You might be a writer if your idea of a hot time is a night spent writing.

    You might be a writer if you'd rather hang with your characters than real people.

    You might be a writer if your best friend is your laptop — you're inseparable!



  87. Jessie Mac on July 16, 2010 at 5:27 AM

    >You might be a writer if:

    – you know your characters better than the real people in your own life.

    – you're stuck in a tiny room writing and yet it feels the biggest place you've ever been to.

    – you stare-stalk a stranger just to note down their mannerisms and dress sense in your mind.



  88. Tabitha Bird on July 16, 2010 at 4:27 AM

    >You might be a writer if your google search history is weird, wide and varied.

    Come on, I know I am not the only one who researches for my characters on line. 🙂



  89. C.A. Marshall on July 16, 2010 at 2:46 AM

    >If everyone gives you blank notebooks for birthdays/holidays, even though you write with a computer…

    If you've got a shelf full of unused, brilliantly designed blank notebooks…

    If the letters ARC make you break out with a ear-splitting *SQUEEEE!*…

    If you know what a barbaric YAWP is and do it frequently…

    … you might just be a writer



  90. C.A. Marshall on July 16, 2010 at 2:42 AM

    >If you can mention goat sex, parachutes, and christmas trees in the same sentence and no one bats an eye at you…

    If you've ever had to do research on the proper way to kill a chicken without the slightest intention of ever killing a chicken…

    If you have nightmares about Word crashing or your entire hard drive suddenly being empty…

    If you've ever had a conversation about queries for over half an hour and the other person still doesn't know what you're talking about…

    … you might just be an author.



  91. wearywriter on July 16, 2010 at 2:19 AM

    >You might be a writer if you…Have endless notebooks around your house each with a story, group of short stories or poetry in them.

    You might be a writer if all of the books on your bookshelf are books about writing..

    You might be a writer if you walk down the street talking to yourself and tell people "Umm…I have a Bluetooth" as an excuse

    You go to the book store to write and you find another writer who becomes your best friend. (True Story)



  92. Leigh Lyons on July 16, 2010 at 1:47 AM

    >You might me an agent if…
    Your summer reading list is comprised of unbound, "pre-published" books.

    You might be a writer if…
    You go on a site-seeing tour just for places to hide the bodies*.

    You babble endlessly about your imaginary friends and people DON'T think your crazy.

    (*done it. I had no idea San Francisco had so much stuff in that city.)



  93. LorelieLong on July 16, 2010 at 1:38 AM

    >You might be a writer if…your family has gotten used to you talking to yourself. And answering yourself.

    You might be an agent if…you keep an eye on the stalls next to you in public bathrooms, ready to run if you see someone's manuscript coming at you.



  94. The Amateur on July 16, 2010 at 1:36 AM

    >@Lauren So true! I am guilty of every. Last. One. LOL



  95. Lauren on July 16, 2010 at 1:30 AM

    >You might be a writer if you spend time on babynames.com and you're not pregnant.

    You might be a writer if your idea of rewarding yourself for finishing difficult writing is more writing.

    You might be a writer if you haunt writing related websites and blogs.

    You might be a writer if over half of your bookmarks on Firefox are writing groups or agents.

    You hang around on twitter hoping it'll bring you a book deal.



  96. Jessica on July 16, 2010 at 1:27 AM

    >You might be a writer if you spend more of your time with imaginary people than with real ones.